Bad things happen to good people, and bad people get what's coming to them. But what about the innocent bystanders. While Superman and Zod are duking it out in the skies overhead, what about the people who get buried in the buildings? When cops chase a suspect through the streets, what happens to the family whose building the suspect smashes into?
I didn't get buried by a building or my home destroyed by some stray car. I'm just an innocent bystander in someone else's movie.
It's taken two months for me to get to a place of sanity again. Well, my level of sanity. There are people I disappeared from, friends I stopped talking to, projects I abandoned. I have my excuses, my reasons, all that lovely nonsense. I still feel like a right schmuck.
It's taken the patience and gentle prodding of friends like Saora and Kenny to return me to a place where I can create again. I owe them a lot. I was horrified when I realized I couldn't write. I'd sit and stare at a screen or even a pad of paper for hours and come up with nothing. Not even a sentence. I've had writer's block before but this...this was different. The events beyond my control had consumed me to a point I'd never found before, and one I hope to God I never find again. It was terrifying.
I owe Saora an apology for suddenly dropping off the face of the earth, abandoning her story, frightening her.
I owe Kenny a mountain of thanks for acting like my disappearance never happened and randomly handing me an opportunity to work within an amazing new universe I'd never seen before.
She reminded me that people care about me.
He reminded me that if I can still breathe I can still create.
Saora's Benediction: Icecrown Citadel will resume its Monday updates. By the time it has been completed, I hope another project has fallen into my lap. If not, I'll just have to create one.
- Listening to: While - Deadmau5
- Reading: Bradbury Speaks - Ray Bradbury
- Watching: Misfits
I've missed my girls.
Though the story is about Saora, it's also a farewell/love letter to my old guild, Zodiac. I made a lot of friends there, learned a lot about myself, gained a surprising amount of confidence. I'll always remember them fondly and miss them terribly. This story is my way of thanking them, without getting all mushy and weird about it.
Oh, yeah, and there's people Saora knows too
- Listening to: Pandora
- Playing: World of Warcraft
- Drinking: Cinnamon Dolce from Starbucks
Since my last rant filled posting, I've graduated college (finally) and found a steady office job, one of those 9 to 5 things. With this stability, I'm able to do things I want to do. Saving money is the hard part, what with all the medical issues happening in my family lately. But once I do, we're going to the movies, baby. I have a completed short script I'd love to film. Well, really, I have two, but I'd rather focus on just the one first. I even have the main location scouted already. Just need to save.
Otherwise, thinking of starting my own comic webseries. Again, money is needed to pay an artist, but I'll get to it.
I'm still just glad I'm no longer in college. Man, that was exhausting! Whoever said dedication was the most important thing in achieving your degree wasn't lying.
- Listening to: Pandora
- Playing: Watch Dogs
Then there's the forced RL socializing. Now, I'm not a sociable person to begin with. I'll put up with it at work or among family because I know it makes other people happy (or boosts my paycheck). When I'm at home, I can offset that uber socializing with hours of gaming. I knew it helped me relax, but I never realized just how much clobbering people as Batman in Arkham City or blowing the heads off zombies in L4D2 really calmed me down.
Today will be my fourth day without a game to relieve frustrations. I can feel the stress building in my chest. Even my calming exercises and meditating techniques aren't helping. I thought I could handle it, even being around the mob of children I have to call cousins. I'm not so sure anymore. I'm afraid I'll snap at one of them or, worse, at my mother. She tends to take the brunt of my loss of patience, even when she doesn't deserve it. Especially when she doesn't deserve it. I'll just have to think before I speak, weigh my words more carefully. People might think I'm mentally damaged with how slow I'll have to respond, but the alternative is far worse.
If I could talk to my friend, it'd be all right. He always knows how to calm me down, to redirect my attention to something stupid that will make me laugh and release all this pointless irritation. That's another thing that sucks about this trip. I need some kind of distraction. Maybe the movies I brought will help. The new books do.
- Listening to: Portal 2 soundtrack
- Reading: World War Z
- Drinking: Frozen Mocha
God, remember the good old days where writers could sit in a room, hovering over their typewriter, and live out their days broke, depressed and forever alone? Now we have to be social, connect with people, allow more than our cats to read whatever we create. Damn you Internet...
This page will still be my fangirl fun page. I'll fav any gorgeous pictures here and be a bit more relaxed than over there. Cause, let's be honest, this profile pic is way too cute to go to waste!
- Listening to: Pan's Labyrinth
- Reading: Isaac Asimov collection
- Drinking: Orange juice with pineapple
Books are such an incredible influence on my life. Pinning down my favorites is always difficult and they often jump genres, subjects and authors without warning. I can love one piece by a particular author and hate another. Edgar Allan Poe and Shakespeare are good/recognizable examples. Frank Miller is a more modern example. There are very few authors who, regardless of genre or plot, produce not just entertainment but meaningful inspirations.
Ray Bradbury has always been an incredible inspiration to me.
Ray's books were the first to scare me to my very core. He never disgusted me, which is how so many authors write 'scary'. He didn't need gore. He didn't need axe wielding psychos. He had aliens that wore the faces of dead loved ones. He had a society that feared creativity so much they set fire to it. He had a blind witch that could find anyone, anywhere, with just her fingers. He had lions that stepped from televisions, Happiness Machines, and a giant's footsteps. His words were horrifying, beautiful, and inspiring.
I heard about his death June 6th. All I could do was stare at my laptop. It felt like a hole had suddenly opened in my chest. I'd never considered he would die. It sounds strange, but it's true. He's a creator, a genius. He's a legend. He was alive. I had the chance to meet him, to sit down and see just how much of an arrogant bastard he really was. It was a minute chance, a one in a million chance, but it still existed. He's gone. He'll never sit at his typewriter again. There won't be another world that comes from his incredible mind. It's like knowing the last bit of magic fell from the sky, and no amount of clapping will bring it back.
I never met him. We had nothing in common, save a deep love of books and writing. He was strange, paranoid, and sixty-five years my senior. But I feel like I lost my closest teacher, my weirdest muse, the origin of my own creation. I never met him. I'll miss him every day.
- Listening to: Portal 2 soundtrack
- Reading: Something Wicked This Way Comes by Ray Bradbury
Since my return from NYCC, I've been thinking about direction. Much of the suggestions I heard were to look into self-publishing, to have a stronger presence online. I'm looking into personal websites (subscription costs, layouts, etc.), something I never before thought necessary for a writer. But one of the easiest ways I can increase my presence online is to increase my activity here.
I'm fond of dA. It's the first place I felt comfortable enough to post my creations, written and otherwise. Now with things at Womanthology winding down, I can focus on my education (still sitting on a 4.0), professional work (working on a script for a pro artist), and my personal projects. I have several fanfics I'd love to finish, most of all the Batgirl/Robin story. I also have several original works that I want to work on, possibly directing them on a self-publishing path. These are all random thoughts, possible dreams, but they're nice to mull over. Who knows, if I'm not fired from my retail job by this time next year, I may save enough money to hire an artist for a short comic to jazz up my portfolio.
I think that's how I should view this page, as a portfolio instead of another social page. By associating it with work, I give it a whole new level of importance in my mind. As a result, I'm cleaning house. I'll be removing favorites (sadly), and removing friends/pages (most of these less sadly). If I want to be a pro, I need to start thinking like one. Maybe I'll leave this page as a fangirl page, and have another devoted to my work. Or vice versa.
Can't wait to see what the future holds,
- Reading: The Strain by Guillermo del Toro
- Playing: Psychonauts
I know I haven't been around recently but I have a good reason! No really! I do! I've started classes at Full Sail University. I'm doing it. I'm getting a major I actually want at a college I actually want to go to. I'll have a bachelor's in Creative Writing in Entertainment.
But I have news even better than that. I know, unbelievable right? Uber comic artist Renae De Liz had a fantastic idea. She wanted to create a comic book anthology that could be developed entirely by women. The comic's name is Womanthology. All proceeds from Womanthology will go to charity, specifically General Giving. And I'm part of the social media team!!! I'm so excited!
Here's the Womanthology dA page:
From there, you can find the Twitter, Facebook, and Tumblr pages! Entries for the first book are currently filled, but if you'd like to sign up for the second book (YES! There's already plans for a SECOND BOOK!) just get in contact with Renae or anyone at the Facebook page!
- Listening to: Pan's Labyrinth soundtrack
- Playing: WoW, DCUO, and The Witcher
- Eating: Chicken
There is a difference between porn and sexy.
With sexy, you cast a wider net. More people are able to appreciate the picture and can become the basis of a career for you. Look up EBAS if you think I'm kidding.
Porn can be (and is) offensive to many viewers. The worst part is it can tarnish your image in the eyes of viewers for a very very long time.
There's a fine line between porn and sexy. EBAS skirts that line constantly. An easy way to figure it is this:
If the girl is naked, keep her hands and other hands off herself. Don't put her in suggestive poses, such as legs spread to the viewer or her ass presenting to another character in the picture. If those are the poses you want, put clothes on her. It can be a tiny thong that's barely visible or some sexy lingerie. But put some clothes on her.
I can't tell you how tired I am of scrolling through my group pictures and seeing Harley topless and petting herself or Catwoman sitting spread-eagle on a Batcape wearing only her mask. That's not art, people, and it isn't impressive. Especially since ALL of them seem to be drawn by people suffering from Parkinson's or little boys whose balls haven't dropped. HAND CHECK.
Okay I'm done. Really.
I've been working on a "contest" for ScriptFrenzy.org. It's more of a challenge really, write a 100 page screenplay in 30 days. I've never written a screenplay before and it's surprisingly difficult, even though I'm writing an adaptation.
You can check out my progress at this link:
Or you can read the actual script here:
- Listening to: Pan's Labyrinth soundtrack
- Reading: Ender's Game
- Playing: WoW, DCUO, and Dragon Age 2
- Saora asked me to write another story for her character, this one about her death and the Icecrown outcome. I'm about halfway through and stuck again so maybe reposting here will get the juices going.
- I have a "try out" at a copywriter position for an agency in Florida this Monday. If they like what I write, I could get a temp part-time job writing! MY FIRST PAYING WRITING GIG! Nothing exciting or even interesting, but hey it's a paycheck for what I love. Pretty damn cool.
- I made a resolution to write more this year. So far...not going so well. Haven't written a single word. Hoping that changes soon.
- I blame . Enhanced has been bouncing around in my head as a movie for weeks. I can see it, nearly every minute of it, playing in my head and it's driving me nuts. I said I'd work on Tehvi this year...but I think this has to be my next personal project. If I see one more dude igniting or one more girl sensing a bloodthirsty savage racing at her, I may dig my brain out with a spoon.
That's it for now. Couple fun submissions that have nothing to do with anything then I'll start posting Saora: Icecrown. Christ that thing needs a better name.
- Listening to: Tron: Legacy soundtrack
- Reading: Story by Robert McKee
- Playing: World of Warcraft and Mass Effect 2
- Drinking: Mike's Hard Pink Lemonade
So far I've got bupkiss. No one's accepted anything anywhere. The writing submissions were either rejected or results were never given. I'm working on a comic book script that will likely get the same treatment but I'm going for it anyway. Gotta keep throwing stuff out until someone decides they like it.
Since the Blizzard contest submission was rejected, I can post it with no legal worries. I'll do it in pieces so it isn't so overwhelming. Hope you guys like it better than they did
- Watching: Gene Simmons Family Jewels
- Playing: World of Warcraft
- Drinking: Sweet Tea
"Some things are beyond words. Beyond comprehension. Beyond forgiveness...Only madmen could contain the thought, execute the act, fly the planes. The sane world will always be vulnerable to madmen, because we cannot go where they go to conceive of such things...
"[We heroes] with our costumes and powers are writ small by the true heroes. Those who face fire without fear or armor. Those who step into the darkness without assurances of ever walking out again, because they know there are othes waiting in the dark. Awaiting salvation. Awaiting word. Awaiting justice.
"Ordinary men. Ordinary women. Made extraordinary by acts of compassion. And courage. And terrible sacrifice....refusing to surrender. Ordinary men. Ordinary women. Refusing to accept the self-serving proclamations of holy warriors of every stripe, who announce that somehow we had this coming. We reject them...in the knowledge that our tragedy is greater than the sum of our transgressions...[They forget] the lessons of crusades past..that the most harmed are the least deserving...
"There are no words. The death of innocents and the death of innocence. Rage compounded upon rage. Rage enough to blot out the sun. And the air, filled with questions...
"We [heroes] are here. Now. With you...We live in each blow you strike for infinite justice, but always in the hope of infinite wisdom. Because we live as well in the quiet turning of your considered conscience. The voice that says all wars have innocents. The voice that says you are a kind and merciful people...
"The fire of the human spirit cannot be quenced by bomb blasts or body counts. Cannot be intimidated forever into silence or drowned by tears. We have endured worse before; we will bear this burden and all that come hereafter, because that's what ordinary men and women do. No matter what. This has not weakened us. It has only made us stronger.
"In recent years we as a people have been tribalized and factionalized by a thousand casual unkindnesses. But in this we are one. Flags sprout in uncommon places, the ground made fertile by tears and shared resolve. We have become one in our grief. We are now one in determination. One as we recover. One as we rebuild. You wanted to send a message, and in so doing you awakened us from our self-involvement. Message received.
"Look for your reply in thunder.
"In such days as these are heroes born. Not heroes such as ourselves. The true heroes of the twenty-first century. You, the human being singular. You, who are nobler than you know and stronger than you think. You, the heroes of this moment chosen out of history. We stand blinded by the light of your unbroken will. Before that light, no darkness can prevail.
"They knocked down two tall towers. In their memory, draft a covenant with your conscience, that we will create a world in which such things need not occur. A world which will not require apologies to children, but also a world whose roads are not paved with the husks of their inalienable rights.
"They knocked down two tall towers. Graft now their echo onto your sping. Become girders and glass, stone and steel, so that when the world sees you, it sees [the towers]. And stand tall.
Spider-man (written by J. Michael Straczynski)
copyright: Marvel Characters, Inc. and Marvel Comics, a division of Marvel Entertainment Group, Inc.
Spider-Man excerpts are from the now-famous black-covered The Amazing Spiderman #36. They are the most dramatic pictures in a single comic book I have ever seen. This post dedicated to all those lost in the tragic events on 9/11/01, and those over-seas fighting for our safety.
God bless America, all who defend her, and all who make her beautiful...us.
To be honest, I think artists have an upperhand in that contest anyway. No one's going to sit and read a short story when they can look at stunning pictures instead. Instant gratification is a way of life anymore. Simpler. I'm happy I spent my time on the submission that really mattered, at least to me. What am I gonna do with a Wacom tablet anyway?
I'm thinking of displaying my Blizzard submission here but I think I'm not allowed. Part of the agreement on the submission application was saying the story now belonged to Blizzard. I'll re-read it, see what it says.
Current projects: Homework and a special request from a friend.
"Time flies even if you smash a clock." ~ Pippep Biddlewick
Back to my studies.
- Listening to: Professor droning on
- Reading: College Accounting
- Watching: Time creepy by...
Two of the three contest deadlines have come and gone. Amature-Writers was turn in well before the due date and the submission is in my gallery. Blizzard's contest ended the 23rd. Turned that short story in on the 22nd, after MANY rewrites and edits. I worked on that sucker for five weeks simply be cause the word count was so limiting for the huge story I was trying to write. I don't ever remember feeling so frustrated with a story. I'm just glad I got it done.
The third contest is proving tricky. I've started it four times and it refuses to flow. The center character, Caleb, is all good to go. His partner in crime, Audrey, isn't. I'm apparently not very good at writing weak women. In discussing it witn a friend of mine, he made me realize I have to get in a different mindset. Just cause I fight back doesn't mean everyone does.
I already knew that but I was resisting it. Weak-willed people annoy me
Classes have started. That story may never get off the ground. We'll see.
- Listening to: Professor droning on
Completed and turned in. Submission is The Beetle and the Satyr in my devs.
Idea spawning. We'll see if it works. Current focus.
Blizzard Entertainment contest:
Original idea may be abandoned purely because of time constraints but still clinging to hope.
Back-up submission completed. Possibly adding more should original idea be scrapped. Currently Verita Fanfic #1-3 in my devs.
- Listening to: Real Rock 101.1
- Watching: Top Chef
- Playing: Mass Effect 2
Episode 3 of Work of Art: The Next Great Artist gave the contestants an amazing opportunity to create new cover art for classic novels. Frankenstein, Alice in Wonderland, Dracula, Pride and Prejudice, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and The Time Machine were chosen as inspiration. Even better, the winner's piece would be used as ACTUAL cover art to be sold nationwide.
Now I'm not a fan of Pride and Prejudice. It's just not my cup of tea with all the romance and drama. Still, I can appreciate the skill and imagination required to produce something that's lasted for centuries. Not to mention it's what many novels today are compared against to measure quality.
One of the contestants that drew Pride and Prejudice starts bitching and moaning the second the books are handed out. "This feels too much like an assignment," she says. She's not inspired. She doesn't do things on command. She's not interested. So she starts making some weird floral pattern using chalk and her fingerprints, something she's known for. When that doesn't turn out right, she takes the title of the book and flips it backwards. So now, Jane Austen's classic is Edirp and Ecidujerp.
How dare you. How dare you bitch about being handed one of the greatest novels ever written? How dare you cry over the lack of inspiration and carelessly cast aside the book cause you want to do what you want to do? How dare you insult not only an incredible talent like Jane Austen but also the publisher Penguin Books who is HANDING you a prime opportunity to get your work out there? Then, to top it off, you ruin the book's title. That's like renaming a person. You take away the identity given to them by someone that loves them. Most of her work was "Untitled". She can't even come up with her own but she has the nerve to destroy someone else's title?
At least she's gone. I understand an artist's reputation is on the line when they produce a piece of art, but when given inspiration it should still respect the inspiration. Pathetic.
- Listening to: Snoring puppy
- Watching: Work of Art: The Next Great Artist
- Playing: Crysis
I survived and I'm still, well, me. Just wish I were still there. At a crossroads in my life right now, deciding which way my future will start out. That damn Robert Frost poem is stuck in my head on repeat like a bad song. Or a lecture you didn't want to hear cause it hits too close to home. Might explain later.
Working on a piece for the Amature Writers club contest. Hopefully I'll get it done. The words are kinda hard to come by cause the piece hits home for me. We'll see how it turns out.
- Listening to: Three Days Grace: Life Starts Now album
- Playing: World of Warcraft
- Eating: Homemade chicken enchiladas
- Drinking: Homemade sweet tea
If I go up to the bar/pool area on the roof, I can see the ocean, islands, mountains and the entire city. I can't describe how huge this city is. I just stretches on into the horizon. White buildings everywhere, except when there's ocean. It's bizarre to hear the insane traffic below only to suddenly get a blast of ocean air and watch a seagull soar overhead. Had an amazing stuffed tomato for dinner and am admiring my gorgeous cruise tan I got over the past few days.
Yeah, I said cruise. Did I say it was to several Grecian islands, including the gorgeous Santorini and Mykonos islands?
I was tempted to just stay there.
The people aren't so nice though. They don't mess with me (I've been told that I look "scary" before someone gets to know me) but my 67 year old mother has been shoved and ignored. They're pretty rude. They don't smile either. It's really the only severe culture shock. I'm so used to American customer service, which I really won't take for granted anymore.
By the way, if you ever come to Athens, stay at the Emmantina Hotel. It's great and right at the beach and close enough to some shopping that you aren't in scary areas. Stay away from the Ionis. Just trust me.
I've had almost no time to work on anything. I'm going to try to draw tonight and on the plane tomorrow but I'm barely awake as it is. We'll see what happens. I've found time to write, but they're more like little jokes or one liners describing different experiences in Italy and Greece. I've also been working on a fanfic featuring all my Warcraft girls. It's just good fun.I really don't want to leave. Just let me jump on a little boat and go back to Mykonos. I'll be a waitress or a retail vendor or something. *sigh*
- Listening to: Greek music
- Watching: the sun set
- Eating: Mousaka and stuffed tomatoes
- Drinking: Rose wine
In less than three weeks I'm leaving for a travel study program that will take me overseas to beautiful Italy and gorgeous Greece. Cistine Chapel, Colusseum, Parthenon, Rhodes, temples of all kinds, I get to see it all! Then after that, I have another two months of no classes. Now is the time for projects!
(1) Demons in Lucina
DATT has been working on a new idea. I completed a short story based off this idea but, on rereading it, was disappointed with what I'd produced. It wasn't fun; it wasn't exciting. It was just...words. Now the short is a rough draft and I'm coming up with something new. You can find the rough in my gallery.
It's a surprising challenge to me. The world is...intricate but in a subtle way. Magic is something I've avoided in the past simply because normal rules don't apply. Creating new rules and remembering all of them while making the characters relatable is difficult. But, I have an idea and I want to get it done. It's always good to step out of your comfort zone.
Speaking of comfort zones, this past semester I stepped WAY out of mine and drew 25 sketches for a class. I'd planned to do 60. There were several characters I was looking forward to doing so might as well do them.
For almost as long as I've known , I've been slowly working on this Batgirl/Robin fanfic. I need to finish it. Really, I want to finish it. It's a fun story and based on characters I love. I just need to get over my fear of making it "right" and just do it. You can find what I've done so far in my gallery.
(4) Arkham Faces
This will be fun. There's a blog on blogspot featuring a fanfic called Batman: The Face We Call Our Own. The writer has created a psychology student visiting Arkham with the intent of interviewing each patient for his psych paper. It's a brilliant idea. Go ahead and look it up. People have said for years, decades really, that the most interesting part of the Batman universe is the rogue gallery. It reminded me of a fanfic I started with a friend of mine YEARS ago that never got off the ground.
So I wanna do one.
I didn't read the blog (simply the premise) so I can't be influenced by what he's written. It's simply taking my version of the classic villains and seeing how they react in their "natural" environment. I'm thinking I'll jump over to Blackgate too. This is purely for my own fun so I don't know how it'll go. Maybe I'll aim for an "interview" a week. We'll see.
By the way, my Arkham will be heavily based on the one seen in Batman: Arkham Asylumn. It's the best version of Arkham I've seen to date and I want to celebrate the facility that is a monster in its own right.
My book I've been working on for a loooooooong time. To be honest I've been putting off finishing it for a couple years. This is my primary project while I'm on vacation. Tehvi deserves an ending and I'm going to give it to her.
Four projects, one summer. Let's see how many my distractable butt actually does
- Listening to: iTunes
I didn't finish. Not even close. Frankly, I'm shocked I got as much done as I did. It was a fun experience (although insanely stressful) but not one I'm willing to repeat. Ever. I'll stick to my pretty words, thank you.
Not that I'm ungrateful. My drawings have skyrocketted in quality. My line art has improved but, even better, I've started shading instead. And not grayscale shading like I used to. My sketches actually have depth. I'm by far no master and my sketches are still elementary compared to those worthy of being called an "artist" but I prefer to compare to myself. And damn have I taken a big step forward.
Completed List (some to be posted later)
Male Anatomy study (with reference)
Male Anatomy study (w/o reference)
Female Anatomy study (turned into a classic Supergirl sketch)
Tony Stark/Iron Man
Bride of Frankenstein
Worm guy from Men in Black
Mars Attacks! leader
Dr. Weir (Event Horizon)
Professor said I have either a B or an A in the class because I worked hard and improved during the semester.
- Listening to: iTunes
- Eating: Cheese cubes
- Drinking: Diet Cherry Coke