Some things happen in life that consume everything else. Sometimes it isn't even your life. You can do everything right, have everything in its proper place. Things can still happen. Because, no matter how hard you try, there are over seven billion other lives on this planet and every single one affects your existence. For the most part, you're ignorant to their influence, and get to go about your business with some amount of control. Then, there are the times those lives smack you right in the face. Everything crumbles. You fall. You bleed. And you never gave a reason for it to happen.
Bad things happen to good people, and bad people get what's coming to them. But what about the innocent bystanders. While Superman and Zod are duking it out in the skies overhead, what about the people who get buried in the buildings? When cops chase a suspect through the streets, what happens to the family whose building the suspect smashes into?
I didn't get buried by a building or my home destroyed by some stray car. I'm just an innocent bystander in someone else's movie.
It's taken two months for me to get to a place of sanity again. Well, my level of sanity. There are people I disappeared from, friends I stopped talking to, projects I abandoned. I have my excuses, my reasons, all that lovely nonsense. I still feel like a right schmuck.
It's taken the patience and gentle prodding of friends like Saora
to return me to a place where I can create again. I owe them a lot. I was horrified when I realized I couldn't write. I'd sit and stare at a screen or even a pad of paper for hours and come up with nothing. Not even a sentence. I've had writer's block before but this...this was different. The events beyond my control had consumed me to a point I'd never found before, and one I hope to God I never find again. It was terrifying.
I owe Saora an apology for suddenly dropping off the face of the earth, abandoning her story, frightening her.
I owe Kenny a mountain of thanks for acting like my disappearance never happened and randomly handing me an opportunity to work within an amazing new universe I'd never seen before.
She reminded me that people care about me.
He reminded me that if I can still breathe I can still create.
Saora's Benediction: Icecrown Citadel will resume its Monday updates. By the time it has been completed, I hope another project has fallen into my lap. If not, I'll just have to create one.